If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize