I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?