Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
