I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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