Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
The beer is more important than you right now.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
