Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
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It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
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Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
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