Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
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I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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