I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
