He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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