May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize