You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize