I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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