So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
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