God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
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He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
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Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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