...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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