You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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