During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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