i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
