Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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