All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I just googled if crying burns calories
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Randomize
