My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
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