Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
