look no pants
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
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I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
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It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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