You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
