im having a threesome with these popsicles
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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