seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
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