I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
