just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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