Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
