the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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