i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
you made out with another girl for some wings
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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