so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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