Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I understand Curling. That high.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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