i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize
