if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
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