Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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