his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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