The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Your cock deserves a montage
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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