I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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