I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
