Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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