Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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