if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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