He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
