I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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