I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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