Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
