So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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