So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
