Jerry, you need to find god
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
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she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
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Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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