I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize