This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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