Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
