it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
he quoted the bible to break up with me
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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