apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
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