you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
