New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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