I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
