if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
