glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize