Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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