honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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